ATC and Flight Recorder Transcripts Released

Associated Press

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The National Transportation Safety Board (NASB) today released excerpts from both the air traffic controllers and the voice recorders of the Northwestern Airlines flight that overshot its intended Minneapolis destination by 150 miles before re-establishing contact with controllers and landing safely:

San Diego: Northwest 188 you are cleared to ascend to thirty seven thousand on a course of two niner zero. Contact Denver air traffic control at 531.2

Northwest: Northwest 188. Roger, ascend to thirty seven thousand on a course of two niner zero. Will contact Denver air traffic control at 531.2.

(time lapse)

Voice Recorder: Tim, do you see something odd at 2 o'clock at about forty two thousand?

I don't see it, Dick.

Tim, there it is, now its at ten o'clock... at our flight level. Can't you see it?

Now I see it, what the fuck is it?

(laughing) Its probably just the kid in the balloon.

Christ! Its coming right at us. Its not an airplane... its coming right at us.

(extended voice recorder silence)

Denver: Northwest 188. Please reply.

Denver: Northwest 188. Please reply.

Denver: Northwest 188. Please acknowledge by changing your transponder frequency to squawk two seven zero.

Denver: NORAD this is Denver ATC. We have lost radio contact with Northwest 188 en route from San Diego to Minneapolis. It is currently squawking a frequency of two fiver zero on its transponder and failed to change to two seven zero.

NORAD: Roger, Denver ATC. We see Flight 188 on radar but have no aircraft in its vicinity currently but will standby if necessary.

(time lapse)

VOICE RECORDER: Tim, wake up! Tim! Tim!

Jeeze, I feel odd, my head is swimming, like I had too much weed.

What time is it, Dick? Where the hell are we?

The last I knew we were just south of Vegas. GPS says we are over Wisconsin - how can that be? Did I fall asleep?

This is strange - the last thing I remember was some unknown aircraft coming towards us....Goddam that Cialis...I still have a boner and its been more than four hours. I can't call my doctor, now, can I?

We have bigger problems than your boner. Lets get this mother turned around and figure out what the hell happened.

NORTHWEST: Minneapolis Traffic Control, Northwest 188.

Minneapolis: Northwest 188.

NORTHWEST: Northwest 188. Request vector for landing ASAP.

Minneapolis: Northwest 188. Descend to twenty seven thousand on a course of two six fiver. Squawk two seven zero.

NORTHWEST: Roger, descending to twenty seven thousand on a course of two six fiver, and squawk two seven zero.

(voice recorder)

I think the shit is going to hit the fan, Tim. Don't say anything until we talk to the union lawyer.

Tell the stus to prepare for landing.

(End of transcript excerpts that were released by NSTB).

Northwest Airlines Flight 188 Crew, Likely Victims of UFO Abduction

While the cockpit voice recorder and flight tracking radar may not tell the tale, insiders say that Federal investigators are scrambling to conceal the truth of UFO intervention in the friendly skies from an already concerned flying public. Several high level leaks within the FAA seem to confirm what the crew of a Northwest Airlines jetliner was actually doing at 37,000 feet as they sped 150 miles past their Minneapolis destination and military jets scrambled to chase them.

After passing a breathalyzer test, Captain Timothy B.Cheney and first officer Richard I. Cole insisted that they had been engaged in a heated discussion about airline policy. However, aviation safety experts and other pilots were skeptical of this explanation, privately discussing the possibility that the cause of their job abandonment was an unusually lengthy IEAB (Intimate Encounter with an Alien Being). Privately referred to as ‘freeze-outs’ or ‘blackouts’, IEABs are characterized by sudden paralysis of short duration, generally fifteen minutes or less. Accompanied by vague amnesia and surface cuts and bruises, IEABs have been associated with pilot UFO sightings over the mid-west and western United States since the early 1980’s.

According to insiders, “a 90 minute freeze-out would be a new unofficial record”. Despite early suspicion of an extended IEAB, with the threat of terrorism always looming, the NTSB had no choice but to scramble jets and implement all flight safety procedures through air traffic control. But when the all of the safety checks built into the aviation system to prevent incidents like this one were ineffective, even the most hardened skeptic, realized that whatever was occurring defied conventional explanation. Not only couldn't air traffic controllers and other pilots raise the Northwest pilots for an hour, but the airline's dispatcher should have been trying to reach them as well. The three flight attendants onboard should have questioned why there were no preparations for landing being made. Brightly lit cockpit displays should have warned the pilots it was time to land. Even the bright city lights of Minneapolis should have clued them in that they'd reached their destination.

"It's is probably something you would say never would happen if this hadn't just happened," said Bill Voss, President of the Flight Safety Association in Alexandria, Virginia.

FAA spokesman Tony Molinaro said in general, an unsafe condition created by a pilot could lead to the suspension of the person's pilot license and possibly a civil penalty.
But insiders point to a far more likely villain, one that will require full disclosure if not now, certainly in the near future as these unseen forces in our midst step up their efforts to make themselves known to the general populous